Survivor stories
Many Takatāpui and Rainbow survivors come to us seeking survivor stories to watch, listen to and read, so we’ve put together this public collection, to help us name the kinds of violence we experience. It’s not exhaustive, and we’re always looking to include more voices, so get in touch if you have a link we should be sharing.
Partner and sexual violence
The award-winning Queering Sexual Violence was the first of its kind, a diverse anthology of queer and trans survivor voices, published in 2016 in the US.
In amongst the mostly US based contributors is a chapter from Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura’s Sandra Dickson.
Asexuality and sexual coercion is a blog from two asexual people, about the risks of sexual coercion in relationships when asexuality is not recognised or understood.
Sometimes u-hauling is love bombing is a blog from an anonymous Takatāpui survivor of partner violence. They reflect on how difficult it can be to name violence in small communities.
Finding the strength to choose myself is a blog from an anonymous Samoan lesbian survivor of partner violence. She reflects on her life changes through the lens of cultural values.
Bye, bi biphobia is a blog from Sandra Dickson, discussing in depth biphobia and the rates of violence towards bisexual+ people in Aotearoa.
My lockdown story explores coercive control and gaslighting in a relationship between two women, and the lasting impacts of emotional abuse – even when it’s invisible to outsiders.
LISTEN: The Insider’s Guide: family violence in takatāpui and rainbow communities is a podcast hosted by MSD. Our kaimahi Kahukura Rogers-Rahurahu and Sandra Dickson describe their own experiences of violence, and the work of Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura.
LISTEN: The Nutters Club deals with all the tough stuff that many in society would prefer to keep in the closet – including violence in Takatāpui and Rainbow communities in this episode with Sandra Dickson.
WATCH: Breaking Silence has made a deliberate attempt to highlight family violence within diverse communities. There are two episodes with survivors from our communities:
Breaking Silence | Season 2 | Episode 4: Sandra Dickson discusses specific forms of abuse in Takatāpui and Rainbow communities, including from her own experience.
Breaking Silence Season 4 Episode 6: Hamie. Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura’s Hamie shares her journey of finding herself, her Takatāpui community, te reo, and utilising natural remedies to support her healing.
Conversion practices
Conversion practices are harmful and unethical attempts to change a person’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.
Te Kāhui Tika Tangata | Human Rights Commission has many resources to support those experiencing conversion practices, including short videos with survivors Andre Afamasaga, Kaan Hiini, Jim Marjoram and Lagi Thompson-Rikys, and a brief description of OutLine’s Conversion Practices Survivor Network.
Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura Tauiwi lead Bex Fraser features with Diverse Church founder Craig Watson in a RE News discussion of surviving spiritual abuse.
WATCH: Doron Semu discusses his experiences of faith-based conversion practices in There was no fix for me, available to watch or read at Tagata Pacific.
WATCH: Beyond Conversion is a nuanced look at the fight to ban conversion practices in Aotearoa, based on interviews with several survivors, available to watch on TVNZ+.
Abuse in care
Takatāpui and Rainbow people have been targets for all forms of abuse in care, often after experiencing violence in our families of origin.
Tu Chapman, chair of Intersex Trust and survivor advocate, features in Turori Chapman: I Am Me, a short film about abuse in state care, and Tu’s resistance and recovery.
Joshy Fitzgerald was sexually abused in care and given electric shocks because he was gay. He tells his story as part of the Abuse in Care report.
Joan Bellingham was subjected to 12 years of abuse in psychiatric care, for being lesbian. She has bravely told her story in many places, including this article.
Maureen Taru, a gay survivor, shares her experiences via video of familial childhood sexual abuse followed by abuse in state care as part of the Abuse in Care report.
Mr UB, a Pacific gay man, describes sexual abuse and conversion practices during state care, and the impacts on his sense of himself as part of the Abuse in Care report.
Survivor stories, and the things we learn from them, become even more important as hate-based rhetoric about Takatāpui and Rainbow communities increases. If you are experiencing or have experienced these or other forms of violence, please reach out to us for support.